Well, one thing is clear. Writing regularly is a lot harder than I thought. Time flies. It's already April and I'm past the halfway mark and the big question is looming over my head:

"Should I stay or should I go?"

As you might know, I got entered into the H1B lottery, twice. The results came out last week, but I didn't get selected. However, there is a J1 research scholar visa that could allow me to stay in the USA for up to 5 years. That didn’t make my life any easier.

Lately, I haven’t been as set on staying as I originally was. Having spent at least half of my mental energy trying to figure out my next step, I came to the conclusion that I only want to stay for the right reasons.

By that I mean, if I stay, I want to have a kick-ass job at an inspiring company for a cause I believe in with people that align with my values. Otherwise, I just won’t be happy. I don’t want to stay for the sake of staying.

An interesting term I’ve heard being used a lot lately is —

Opportunity cost:

What a person sacrifices by choosing one option over another.

So here are the options I’m considering:

• Propose a role as a sustainability/ESG/recycling manager at Cuberg and become the liaison for all things sustainability.

• Stay in California and apply for jobs here (have two potential leads right now).

• Full steam ahead focus on starting my own company, something that I’ve always wanted to do but haven’t gotten around to really trying yet.

• Move back to the Netherlands and apply for jobs there (have zero leads here).

• Move to a more developing country (i.e. South East Asia, Latin America, South Africa) to work on climate solutions that have a larger impact than creating batteries for electric aeroplanes for rich people.

Right now, the option I’m looking forward to the most is the Entrepreneur First program I applied to in London. It’s a three-month program that invests in people “pre-company” and pays them to find a co-founder and come up with an idea. If you’re successful, they can invest up to 80k in your company (in exchange for 10%). If I get in, then I’d have to move to London for three months and am free to go as I like after.

Something from a conversation with Henk, one of my best friends’ late fathers that helps guide people in making decisions, stuck with me. He told me that he could hear the excitement in my voice and feel me lighting up when I talked about starting something new. Every time I read about or meet people founding their own company, I think “damn, that’s so cool, why am I not doing that”.

It’s not necessarily a logical choice and I don’t know if I’ll get in, but for now, it gives me some sense of direction. I’ve wondered, “Shouldn’t I get some more work experience before applying to something like this” or, “It might be nice to get a job and save up a bit so that I don’t have to live as a poor student at the age of (nearly) 27”. In the end, because this is the one thing I have consistently wanted for as long as I can remember (I was already making wallets out of plastic bags and starting organisations in high school), I know I’d regret not trying more than I’d hate failing. That is my opportunity cost.

If it doesn’t work out, that’s fine too. I’ll just have to figure something else out.